The Lover Never Leaves
by ghost-wiring
Summary: Shepard tries to cope with the death of Thane as she plots revenge against his killer. CONTAINS SPOILERS for Mass Effect 3.


A/N: So, I'm writing this basically because I felt very cheated by the way things played out with Thane in Mass Effect 3. I felt like the writers didn't take the relationship between Shepard and a romanced Thane very seriously, when I in fact did. In this story, I'll try and fill in some blanks and write things from MY Shepard's prospective since Bioware did such a poor job. ;) There will be some spoilers (I haven't played through the whole game myself so there will be no spoilers concerning the ending of the game). Any reviews or critiques will be greatly cherished! I hope you all enjoy!

Five hours. It had been but five hours since my love's body was laid to rest at sea. The funeral had been short and with few in attendance, yet beautiful things were said about Thane Krios. His son Kolyat had lead the service, a new yet well learned student in the old Drell philosophies, inspired to study them by his father. After all prayers were said and his body was taken by the ocean, things continued on as normal. The galaxy was still in danger. Humans and so many other species were still facing extinction. Earth would soon be no more unless the Reapers were stopped. Even with so much at stake, for the first time since Eden Prime I found myself feeling apathetic.

It was selfish, I knew that much, but since that fateful day on the Citadel my actions were driven by one thing only: the death of Kai Leng. An unbridled rage had been forming inside me, coupling with the grief and filling me with bitterness and furious anger. That terrible vision of the blade running through Thane's weakened body, the spray of crimson, him gasping for breath—these things played over and over in my mind. I kept thinking of ways I could have stopped him, but none of this mattered. Leng had gotten away, his plan to assassinate the Salarian Dalatrass had been foiled, but this came at the cost of Thane's life. In the end, it wasn't the Kepral's syndrome that took him from me. Kai Leng had taken him from me. From that day forward I had promised myself one thing. I would avenge Thane's death. Kai Leng would die by my hands, and he would suffer in agonizing pain until his very last breath.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Back aboard the Normandy, I found myself pacing around the room called Life Support. It was silly that I kept coming here, hoping to find some clue, some trace of him left behind. After the Alliance took over the Cerberus vessel, the room had been wiped clean of all evidence that he'd once dwelled there. It was the same old room, empty now except for the desk he so often sat at, contemplating life and everything else. Still, I found some sense of comfort there.

I sat in the familiar chair and ran my hands along the desk's cool surface. Days had passed since I'd bid farewell to him in Huerta Memorial Hospital. We'd both known that terrible day would come when we'd be forced to say goodbye. I thought I'd prepared myself to face his death, but losing him had been so much harder than I'd ever imagined.

I hoped his soul was free now from the torments of his life of killing. I'd watched him slip into frightful memories as real as if he were living them as he stood before me. He spent so much time in prayer and meditation, asking for forgiveness of his sins and even for the forgiveness of others. No matter how many he'd killed, I believed he deserved to be free from the burdens of his illness and that awful history that plagued him. Perhaps he was with his wife now, reunited after she was so unfairly taken from him. I didn't know much about religion or afterlives, but if there was any justice in death, Thane deserved to rest in peace among the waves. I only hoped that I'd meet him again someday. It was just about the only thought that provided me any comfort since his passing.

The door slid open behind me, drawing me out of reverie. I found Javik standing there, studying me with his shrewd Prothean gaze.

"Shepard," he said in greeting.

"Javik. Do you need something?"

"I was exploring your ship. I will leave, if you would like privacy."

"No need. I was just…reflecting."

He looked around the room, walking very slowly, studying every detail.

"I sense a drell lived here. He had a sickness within him."

"His name was Thane," I said softly. "He was with me when I destroyed the Collector base."

Javik's eyes met mine as he studied me.

"You were lovers," he said simply.

I winced at the statement, unprepared for this conversation.

"He was more than that. He meant a lot to me."

His eyes began searching the room again.

"I know of his passing. I am sorry for your loss."

I nodded, unable to say much of anything. Uncomfortable under the scrutinizing Prothean's expose, I excused myself.

"I should get back to work. I've got assignments piling up since Cerberus's attack on the Citadel. Feel free to continue exploring the ship, if you'd like. I want you to feel comfortable here."

I'd nearly walked out of the room when I heard him speak.

"Shepard, there is something I would like to say."

"What is it?" I asked warily.

"The drell. There was a great love in his heart. Do not despair in his death, for few have the chance to encounter a bond such as yours."

"I know," I said, forcing a smile. Leaving Javik behind, I retreated to my cabin before my emotions got the better of me.


End file.
